Life-Changer Award Essay

I do not believe in love at first sight, even when I saw Lex, a 25 pound white and black fluffy ball I doubted that feeling of instant love or how much this dog can change me.

I grew up feeling like a shadow, trying to hide from the world. I was constantly hit and screamed at by my mother, abused by teachers, called retarded and stupid by people who were suppose to help me grow, being compared to smarter and better children. My earliest memories were of failing and being punished. How could I ever grow up to be a productive member of society when I felt like no one was on my side?

Lex came at a time when I needed help most. I was twenty-two years old, didn't know what to do with my life, and I had stopped trying in order not to fail. I spent a year and a half falling in love with this lovely creature, and then one day I wanted to share his beauty with the world! I must have been crazy but I entered him in a Newfoundland Draft Test with the expectation to fail. Our first test, my first time being so terrified, I must have been drunk on love, how much did it take to make myself be judged in front of so many eyes - and we passed, and I went home, I hugged him and I cried - just him and I.

For the first time in my life, I was proud of my accomplishment, myself, something I worked hard for was finally good. I was hooked on success. We again entered another test, this time a water rescue test; it was horrifying learning to swim. Yet again Lex held me up and once more we passed.

Time and time again Lex and I entered Newfoundland working tests and each time we passed in text book perfect style. How could a dog give a person like me so much confidence, to stand up tall and walk in the world without fear of failing, or more importantly to try without being afraid to fail?

Lex showed me that I am a life worth valuing, I am allowed to be proud of myself, and that I am no longer a small child getting beaten up by the world. There is nothing wrong with me, I am neither retarded nor stupid, and here in this world Lex will stand with me and continue to inspire me with his gentle magnificence.


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